Ever hear of Power Exchange?

The Definition Of Power Exchange Jack Peacock Ever hear of Power Exchange or even erotic power exchange? What does this mean to you? Someone posed this question to me not so long ago, so I thought I might answer it. But before I do, a mini-editorial on the age-old process of defining terms. It's a popular pastime to define what exactly dominant, submissive, slave, master, et al. really are. Inevitably someone disagrees, and then someone else says the words mean whatever individuals define them to be. I have no problem with disagreement over the definitions, but to say it can't be done bothers me. The purpose of language is to commun- icate using words and concepts everyone agrees on. To blithely state that words cannot have a common meaning, or even worse a word means whatever each individual decides, is to undermine the whole concept of language. This particular phrase "power exchange" seems to mean something different to almost everyone. From what I have seen its primary function is to differentiate in some abstract way between various types of D/s relationships. We have Total Power Exchange and Absolute Power Exchange, Absolute being the same as Total but practiced by profoundly submissive/dominant as opposed to plain undistinguished submissive/dominant partners. We have Erotic Power Exchange, virtually identical to the other two but presumably stimulating in some sexual way, which would seem to imply the other two aren't any fun at all. And finally we have the Two People Who Just Want To Have A Good Life Together Power Exchange, a type no one will ever admit to practicing because it doesn't appear to be total, absolute, or erotic. I see a power exchange as a simple relationship between two people who choose well-defined roles for themselves. There is a dominant partner who has responsibility for being the leader, and a submissive partner who has responsibility for preserving harmony while follow ing and supporting the dominant. The two work out how each one's abilities can best meet their common needs. Sounds vanilla so far, which is no surprise. Not so many years ago what we now think of as a power exchange was a traditional marriage. The one real difference from modern day vanilla is that the two are honest about their wants and needs, without the burden of politically correct thinking. When I first met my wife to be, we talked of many things, among them how our life together would be structured. I made it clear I expected to be in charge, and that if we could not agree I expected her to defer to my judgment, even if I proved to be wrong. She made it equally clear she expected a quiet life free of the hard choices we all have to make. She would turn her life over to me, to do with as I please, but in return I would make that life as easy and worry-free as I possibly could. It was a real exchange, unequal authority in my favor, balanced with unequal responsibility to her benefit. In practice it wasn't always so easy, but I tried not to lose sight of what I promised her as I dealt with the problems that came along. Was it "Total"? Probably not, by anyone's definition, but it was enough for the two of us. We argued and fought, but she never deliberately disobeyed me, even when she was so angry she couldn't talk to me. I imagine if it were "Absolute" or "Total" then she would have been punished in some way for daring to argue, but I don't believe in that. She was passionate about life and that reflected in the times she got upset. Was it an "Erotic Exchange"? It's a matter of personal opinion and I can only speak for myself, but I would be less than honest if I didn't admit having the power to control some one else's life, to actually see the positive difference I made in the ways I wielded that power, well...it was a turn on.